[yaosai]

CORPORAL ULYSSES "LEE" DOWNS
醉狗
Zuì gǒu

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[yaosai]

"Awake to the fact there's no going back to this world in which I was living."

[yaosai]

“What the hell is going on with you?” Lee spoke just as the door closed behind him, his eyes taking in the blood and the glass and her whole body seemed to ache with just that simple reminder. When she tried to turn away, he stopped her with one callused hand on her shoulder but her orders had been clear. Do not tell the corporal anything. She stood as still as she could manage with the weight of her brother's death still falling onto her shoulders piece by piece. The way his voice turned into gurgling attempts to breathe echoed in her mind with each heartbeat. Her brother was dead and she was the one who slid the knife across his throat, the dog who had been following orders. It was too late now to feel, to question, to wonder. The blood that covered her forearms had been spilt. Zi Hao's blood.

Frustrated, Lee shook that one shoulder, his anger surging up behind his less than placid countenance. “Feng Li, I need you to tell me what’s going on here. I’m your superior. I’m ordering you.”

He had stopped needing to pull rank sometime after their first year together and the fact that he saw it necessary to do so now made her back straighten in a quiet fear of the ripples that would spread from tonight. Her brother was dead. Zi Hao was dead. What else lay dying before her eyes? Hers and Lee's working relationship had been tenuous at times, yes, but never anything she wanted to lay down as collateral. Not after he vouched for her time and time again, not after he put himself in the crosshairs to keep her alive.

“Feng Li, please,” Lee’s voice dropped lower, his grip loosening.

She glanced over at him, meeting his gaze for a long, silent moment before the taxi pulled up to the curb. As she climbed into the back, Lee stared after her for several seconds before he shut his eyes and sighed. He followed her in and quietly gave the driver the address of the hotel they were staying at. They traveled in silence and even when they returned to their suite and he began to pick the glass shards out of her arm with a pair of tweezers, he remained just as stony.

The whole world seemed to be one long blur, time itself stretching every heartbeat into an ugly, sickening thud in her ears. She was going to be sick, but she had to keep it in, tuck her emotions back in place. File away her brother's last breaths as something to deal with later. She had to, for the Project, for the agency that was slowly sucking her soul out through every connection she had left in life.

Zi Hao was dead but she had to silence the voice that repeated that fact in her head.

“I’m sorry,” she offered, barely audible in the quiet of the room around them.

Lee sat back a little, letting his elbows rest on his knees as he watched her for a long moment. His lips pressed into a thin line as he clicked the tweezers together absentmindedly. She'd seen the expression before, many times. Most of them had been early in their partnership when she had refused to say a single word to him for days on end. The Project was abusing him, taking advantage of a good man with a heart too good to be stained by the corruption going straight over his head. Concern bit into the edges of his face as he watched her and Feng Li could hardly justify why she was so disturbed by this murder in particular. Not without telling him the truth and she had orders to not disclose anything. Just like she had had orders to kill Zi Hao.

Zi Hao who was dead. Zi Hao who she had trained with when their father expressly forbid it. Zi Hao who had stood up for her when her father tried to dismiss her. Zi Hao who had made her his life until their father left her on the battlefield to die. Zi Hao who had spent his last gurgling breath speaking her name.

After a few more silent beats, Lee sat up straighter again, defeat washing across his face.

"Well if you decide you want to be a partner in this strike team again, you just let me know," he held out the tweezers for her before getting up to his feet.

When the Corporal got angry, he didn't shout, not like nearly every other man she had known in her lifetime. Instead, he went quiet, withdrew, fought silence with silence until she could no longer stand it. Awkward situations had stopped bothering him years ago once he fully grew into his role as her Deacon.

"You know where to find me." He said with a stony expression before retreating toward the door to the hallway. Pausing there, he blew out a breath before disappearing through it.